In order to discuss this monster entitled Cuffing Season we must first understand it. Below is the Urban Dictionary’s definition of Cuffing Season which, in my opinion, is highly accurate.
“During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.” – The Urban Dictionary
Cuffing season is basically the time of year where everyone is looking for someone. This mentality of looking for someone can quickly turn into settling for anyone. I could talk for days about every element of cuffing season and give advice on how to combat it through scripture however, no one would take the time to read it. Therefore I have decided to come up with some things to consider during cuffing season:
Worth over Warmth.
Scripture: “Do not give dogs what is holy; and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you” Matthew 7:6 ESV
Take Away: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE remember your worth.
If you choose to participate in this season be wise when you are picking the person you want to be “cuffed” by and what you are sharing with them. When we interact with people we must be selective with who we go deep with. Not everyone deserves to know every part of you or even cares to. Our minds, ambitions, goals, passions, etc. are valuable and we must not cast them to swine. This scripture is golden on multiple levels because It reminds us that we are holy and that what we carry within us is as valauble as pearls. The scripture also warns us about what may happen if we do cast our pearls to the wrong person. If you are going to be reckless with who you bind yourself to, be ready for them to not realize your value. Prepare yourself to be trampled and possibly attacked (through gossip, social media posts, etc.) by this random person that you have chosen to join yourself to. Also be aware of negative cycles that you may fall victim to by giving yourself to the wrong person. Just be wise and know your worth, there’s nothing wrong with wanting companionship however, don’t sacrifice your value just because you want someone to keep you warm at night. Buy a blanket and keep it pushing until you encounter someone who will value you.
Timing over a Title
Scripture: “It is not for you to know times or seasons that he the Father has fixed by his own authority.” Acts 1:7 ESV (It’s in Red in the Bible so of course it’s red here)
Take Away: You are on God’s time not yours.
Cuffing season is dangerous because it puts a time limit on God. It basically tells us that around this time we all must be ready and willing to be in a new relationship. People have even made a timeline of cuffing season to guide people on when to “Shoot their shot” and when they should expect to be cuffed. This blows my mind because I cannot recall a moment when God has moved on my time, ever..period..zilch..nadda..none. The scripture reminds us that we will not know the times or seasons that God plans to move in our lives. The most we can do is be prepared and pray for patience while we wait. God will not put you in anything healthy if you aren’t ready for it because all you will do is mess it up. Stop forcing God to operate in this window of time that you choose to allot him. Timing is crucial and the more you force it the more you will be disappointed every cuffing season when your time sensitive relationship falls through the cracks. Let the relationship happen naturally, if it falls during cuffing season so be it but don’t put an expiration date on God’s plans for you just because you want someone to call Boo.
Growth over Games
Scripture: “To the unmarried and the widows I say that It is good for them to remain single as i am.” 1 Corinthians 7:8 ESV
Take Away: Grow in the Gaps
Don’t let cuffing season make you doubt if it is normal to be single. It is perfectly ok to be a single person any time of the year. When you are single you have more time to invest in yourself and to work on walking in your purpose and in your calling. Your future mate won’t be able to find you if you aren’t doing what you need to do to grow as an individual anyways. The longer it takes you to accept being single and take action towards bettering yourself, the more you delay your blessing of companionship. Cuffing season is a norm now but just think how many broken people continue to do further damage to themselves and others during this season because they are by no means ready to be joined with another person. Take time to be transparent and honest with yourself and to evaluate every painful part of you that needs attention and healing. You never know how broken you are until God fixes you. Let him fix you before you go off and play games with others.
Life over Longing
Scripture: “The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life” Job 33:4 ESV
Take Away: God gives you life not man.
During this time of the year do not get lost in the thought process that you need another person to give you life. Do not become reliant on the presence of another human to the point where you will settle to be around anyone for comfort. You are complete and full through God. Long for God before you long for a human, change your mindset and accept the fact that it is ok to be by yourself. Work hard to keep yourself fulfilled in the spirit, once you conquer that task everything else will come to you easily when the time is right. Many people have built their life around using other people to fill them. They place unrealistic expectations on others which is unhealthy because some voids only God can fill. Live your life longing to better know God and to know yourself inside and out. There is a beauty within falling in love with Jesus as well as yourself. Don’t neglect that beauty by constantly pursing some booty. (LOL)
These are just a few points I came up with to make this years cuffing season a little more bearable for everyone. This is by no means law however, they are great points to consider at all times of the year when dealing with possible significant others. Just trust God, be obediant, and patient and it will all make sense.